Introspection versus Overthinking

Repatriation & Rumination:
​The Thin Line Between Introspection and Overthinking

Alicia Savage

Coming "home" can be a very rich experience that can lead to personal growth. One important ingredient for personal growth to take place is introspection. Introspection and reflections are very different from overthinking or rumination, the first leading to personal growth the latter leading to depression.
* Introspection is “a reflective way look inward : an examination of one's own thoughts and feelings.” 
* Rumination or overthinking is “to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly” and “to chew repeatedly for an extended period.”
Preventing overthinking can help you make your home "coming" easier. 
Once you are back home you often get projected in a far past, or you might be confronted with a part of youself you have forgotten about. With all the best intensions, old friends and family members are maybe pointing to your less attractive habits. Your financial situation might be different and your life -work balance might have changed. 

When things do not work out the way you planned might trigger a repetitively going over events asking the big question: Why did something happen or not happen? Your memories are linked by powerful emotional associations. When an unpleasant event puts you in a bad mood, it’s easier to recall other times when you've felt terrible. This can set the stage for you to work yourself into a downward spiral. You only see what your negative mood wants you to see - the events in your past that are negative, the events in your present that are negative, the things that could go wrong in the future. It is important to be aware of when you are crossing the line from introspection to rumination.

Introspection or Overthinking?

It is just a very thin line between introspection and rumination, but there is very big difference between both. Time spend alone in thought can be very good for you and stimulate personal growth but it can be bad for you when you are negatively turned towards yourself. When you engage in introspection it is very important that you are gentle and kind to yourself.
Here are some redflags to make you alert when turning from introspection to rumination. Do any of these sound familiar?
▪ Emotional reasoning: Conclusions based on nothing but strong feelings. (“I feel guilty—I must have done something wrong.”)
▪ Overgeneralizing: Seeing a negative event as part of an endless pattern of defeat. (“I didn’t get the job. I’m such a loser. I’ll never get another job again.”)
▪ Disqualifying the positive: Discounting anything good. (“That interview went well, but soon they’ll figure out I’m a fraud.”)
▪ All-or-nothing thinking: Looking at an issue in black-and-white terms. (“My boss didn’t like an example in my report—I blew the whole thing!”)​

7 steps to stop overthinking:

Here are 7 steps that can stop overthinking:
STEP 1: Accept you have a problem with overthinking: 
If overthinking is stopping you from living a happy life, making decisions or having meaningful and loving relations, you have a problem. Denying this reality will only make things worse. 
STEP 2: Forgive yourself: After you face reality and acknowleged you have a problem with overthinking, forgive yourself. It is a very human thing to do. 
STEP 3: Understand that happiness is an inside job: When something goes wrong we often tend to internalize the problem. When you experience a setback rather then seeing it as "all your fault", look at what part was out of your control, know that it is temporally and do not internalize it. 

Olaf Hajek

STEP 4: Intergrate conflicting parts of you: Having mixed feelings on how you are living your life can cause internal conflicts. It is good to take time to look at this internal conflicts, untangle these conflicting parts. 
STEP 5: F.L.Y. (First Love Yourself): Self-love is an essential ingredient for personal growth. 
Loving oneself is caring about oneself, taking responsibility for oneself, respecting oneself, and knowing oneself, this means being realistic and honest about one's strengths and weaknesses. 
STEP 6: Deal with your inner critic: Challenge your beliefs about yourself by asking yourself questions that challenge your existing thoughts. 
STEP 7: Get physical and busy: Go for a walk or run in a nearby parc. This helps to get out of your head.
Last but not least TAKE ACTION and get the help you need. Find a coach who can help you deal with overthinking and learn tools to stop overthinking.
Feel free to contact me with any further questions.