Honesty

Vin Tew

“Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it” 
―George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Would you call yourself an honest person? 
What does honesty mean to you? 
Are you willing to let go of your ideas about reality and adjust your ideas when these no longer match reality? 
Are you ready to uncover the veil and look truth deep in the eyes? 
How do you react when you have to admit that unwillingly you have lied?

​The journey of living free begins with a lifestyle of being honest.
We all have certain assumptions about reality and about ourselves. Realising that we are ever changing and constantly adding and letting go of assumptions or beliefs we have about reality can help you to live more in the present moment. So is being aware that we are shaped and reshaped by the outside world and vice versa we shape the world.

Holding people responsible and accountable for honesty is an important aspect in coaching. Coaching is often about helping people in the process when looking at these parts of themselves or others where it is hard to be honest with one another or with oneself. I have seen an immense courage from my clients to unveil the curtain of dishonesty, denial, lies and face the truth.

Only then we can go beyond and realise that reality has so many facets. Being honest means being vulnerable and compassionate. Honesty means admitting to ourselves that lying comes from fear, disappointments and betrayals. Lies in fact are used to protect ourself from pain. Since moving away from pain is a strong motivator, it is important to realise that lying can become a strategy to not feel the pain. When we experience a painful event like losing a job, relationship, financial security, or our health, we rarely give ourselves enough time to process the hard lessons (truth), rather we urge ourself to get on with life. Taking time to really understand our motivations can help to live a life which is more aligned with who we truly are.

Being honest with ourselves and others requires the ability to think and feel at the same time in order to fully integrate a difficult experience. Many times we either react only with emotion and become irrational about the situation or, we use our head and don’t process any of the feelings. Holding clients accountable to honesty is what makes coaching sometimes more conflict-orientated then therapy, I belief.

Honesty can motivate us to strive to become the best version of ourselves while lies on the other hand pretend we already are.

Honesty is crucial to a healthy relationship with ourselves and others. It can help us to resolve longstanding issues, find forgiveness, and deepen our relationships with the people who surround us. Honesty is leaning in to powerlessness and vulnerability, acknowledging that there is so much we still do not know. Our secrets hold power over us and keep us from close authentic relationships with others and with ourself.

Katerina Plotnikova

Use your past experience to strive and to become the person you truly desire, at the same time be aware that this is an intention and not reality at the present time, set your intention realistically or use New Year Resolutions to get a clear picture of your aspirations.
Here's some inspiration...

Wishing you all a Sparkling Christmas & Joyful New Year!
With love, 
Sarah